Fear of Making a Mistake

Today, I'm going to focus on someone's request to talk about the fear of failure in the context of cancel culture. This is such a good topic, and thank you to the person who submitted it.

It's fascinating to me how, in business culture, failure is constantly talked about as a positive thing, and a part of innovation. But even if our society claims to celebrate and accept failure, most people don't actually feel safe enough to fail, especially in this economy. Many of the people I speak with are leaders— either internally at companies or as entrepreneurs— and they feel they are expected to know the answers and lead their team or company to success. If they say or do the wrong thing, they might face rejection or embarrassment. At the extreme, they might lose their job or their headcount, or a failure might cost them their company.

So there is a lot on the line. And when we feel there is a lot on the line, the pressure mounts and the tension rises. We become so afraid of doing it wrong and being called out that we might not even make our attempt–whether that's getting a business project off the ground, starting a company, or speaking up in a meeting or in public.

So, what's the way out of this?

For me, the way out is always through. And it starts with recognizing that the belief there is something you can say or do that will make everyone happy, or that will lead to success no matter what, is inherently FALSE. There is nothing— NOT ONE THING— that you can do that will satisfy everyone or be a perfect win.

In fact, how other people perceive something is completely out of your control. Every solution, every statement, every everything is imperfect; it's a little bit right and a little bit wrong. All we can every do is make the best decision with the information we have at the time.

The very idea of cancel culture places so much power in the hands of everyone else. The truth is that some people will like what you say and do, and some people will not. What's important is that YOU know that the things you say and do come from a place of integrity within yourself, and that you are a human who (like all humans) makes mistakes, learns new things, and evolves.

Every initiative we take, every time we speak up, we are taking a risk. Will other people like this? Will they hate it? Will I look smart? Will I look foolish? We place so much power in the hands of other people, whose perspectives are tinged with their own agendas, experiences and belief systems, all of which are out of our control.

So the question really is, are you willing to let your humanness show? Are you willing to be compassionate toward yourself and others? Are you willing to release the expectation that there is one perfect, right way and that you can please everyone? Are you willing to silence yourself just to stay safe?

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