I Hated This Decision

Have you ever found yourself faced with a decision you really hated?

A few weeks ago, we found out that our sweet French Bulldog, Luella, had cancer. The news was hard and sad and we didn't know what it meant. We were advised to make a surgery appointment as soon as possible, which turned out to be one week later. There were so many unknowns in the space of that week, and so much medical jargon to sift through. The situation was this— we wouldn't know the extent of the cancer until they put her under and performed a CT scan. They would call with the results of the scan and if we decided to move ahead with amputation, we would need to make that decision on the spot and she would go immediately into surgery.

My husband and I hated this decision. I also hated how we would have to make it so quickly, within minutes on the phone with the surgeon. (That's not how I prefer to make any big decision). We didn't want to amputate her leg, that felt so severe and traumatic. We also didn't want to do nothing, she is a member of our family, our oldest child, and we wanted to fight for her. We didn't know what the right path forward was. But we did know that our highest intention with any decision was for her to have the best quality of life for whatever time she had left.

When we got the phone call with the scan results, the cancer had wrapped around her entire front leg and likely spread to the lymph node. She was in pretty intense pain and had been hiding it for a while. With that information we knew our decision. We wanted her to be as pain-free as possible for the rest of her life. We went forward with the amputation.

Now, a few weeks later, she is fully recovered. I see in her eyes she is not in pain, and it has been remarkable to watch her re-learn to walk so quickly. It's amazing what bodies can do when they don't have so much thinking around everything. Luella is not feeling sorry for herself, she's simply wanting to get from where she's sitting to her food bowl across the room, so she finds a way to do that.

I feel good about our decision, even though it was clearly not an ideal situation. In fact, I now see this as a blessing— without the lump and scan, we would have never known how much pain she was in.

So often in business, and life, we find ourselves in shitty or difficult situations, needing to make hard decisions. There's no sugar coating this, it's simply part of life. Resisting it, wishing it were different, spending so much time dwelling in this is what makes it even harder. Accepting what is and moving forward from there is all we can really do.

I'm sharing this today in case anyone is faced with a situation that is less than ideal. It's ok. I get it. And, there may not be a way out that you like, but there is a way forward that feels the best given all the information you have now. Sometimes, that is just enough.

Love,
Elizabeth